The title of this post came to me while driving home from one of my jobs last night....one of my part time jobs.
I was attending a "staff meeting". Since I have only been at this job for two shifts, and have not had much transaction with most of the staff, that range in age from 18-65 and who have all not been there for more then 2 months except for two of them out of the 15 of us, and those two have been there a few years, I was unsure of what to expect.
I mean, what does a staff meeting mean, what does it entail, what does the manager hope to get out of it and what does the staff gain by this meeting overall that would justify the manager allocating money from her budget to pay all of us to be there....these are questions that run through my mind as I drive to these "staff meetings".
So it started off with some pleasantries "Hi my name is ----- and I have worked here for so and so many shifts, months or years....bla bla bla, we then played a silly game and then went straight into some video's that we had to watch that came from head corporate office in the USA....the video included all the new ways we are to SELL SELL SELL, and to show us all the new pretty shiny things.
Okay....so I know that's how the corporate world works...I know it's all about the "bottom dollar"....I get it....it just annoys me so much...and it's just not me really.
What bothered me the most is what came next. I little video on a program that this particular company sponsors. I will not go into the details here of what the program is specifically called, but it's one of those one's that saves the children of Africa type of sponsored program. We are to sell as many of the cards we have for this "sponsorship" as possible....and if we sell the amount the company finds pleasing...then they will send my manager to New York.....so I do all the selling...I get NOTHING, but my manager goes to New York.....ummm okay?
So to try to "pull on our heart strings technique" and to get us to sell sell sell more of these....they implemented some "hands on" visuals for us to "feel the experience". Not sure how this was supposed to want us to "sell more cards" but it was their way.
So the manager filled a big bucket of nice fresh clean water from the store, and nice new perfect rubbermaid bucket, and had us carry the bucket from one end of the store to the other....again, clean water, new bucket, in a nicely heated and lighted store....and this was to signify to us what a six year old African boy has to go through up to five times a day....except he walks up to 5 miles a day 5 times a day, but our 10 foot walk is practically the same....according to this company I am working for lol.
So while talking about all the "numbers" this corporate sponsor has come up with for all the "African problems in percentile form" we were all pigging out on food...so much food at the table, that in fact the store manager even thought it appropriate to bring it up...how well we are eating, but the poor African children would be jealous......WOW.....this just seemed so wrong to me on so many levels.
So after this disturbing experience, we are just about done the staff meeting, and I ask who will be at the store tomorrow morning, as I have a early shift.....3 hours before the store even opens up type of early....and I needed to know how I was going to get into the store since non of us have keys. I was informed that I just need to use my cell phone to call the store (which I am standing out in front of) and they will come out and open the door for me (again, I am standing right out front of a store with MASSIVE WINDOWS...but I need to call on my cell phone?)
So I told them I don't have a cell phone...to which I have never in my life experience such loud GASPS......you would have thought I just told them all some more efficient facts, like facts about how many people in Lethbridge are actually homeless and starving....but no....all I did was say I didn't have a cell phone.
Well this melt down ended with them all not knowing what to do with me.....I mean....not only do I no have a cell phone...I'M A VEGETARIAN (which they also discovered while passing around the meet platter earlier)....so now they are terrified that they have hired some insane dirty hippie peace freak who might start some type of crazy protest LMAO....I might start informing people of some local facts or something.....and not some made up stupid shit about a country that NON of them even know about!!!
So yeah....it was a great productive staff meeting :-)
(side note...they had to actually look out the window this morning for me lol....not sure if they will recover from that experience lol)