Thursday, August 15, 2013

Dear son

Long before my existence the universe had a plan, a plan that I will never fully comprehend nor fully understand. But in 1972 the universe decided it was time to execute this part of it's plan, and it brought me in to this world. Then again, in 1990 the universe and it's infinite wisdom executed another part of it's plan and it brought you to me.
I had no idea what I was doing, and I still to this day have no clue if what I did or am currently doing is right...and quite frankly....I'm okay with that. To have all the answers to everything would be to easy and I would learn nothing and there for I believe would defeat the purpose of this life, and that is to learn.
There are things I have always known without a shadow of a doubt, and I knew this from the moment I became aware of your life, and that is that I would love you unconditionally without failure. I knew that this was going to be something bigger then me and something that would teach me til my final days on this particular planet.
I knew that I could not be your everything, but I tried to be the one that know matter what, loved you most! You have given me more then you could ever truly comprehend, and as long as I am here you will continue to feed my soul with your existence.
It has been such a blessing to watch you over the last 22 years in every stage of your life and this last week you once again blessed me two fold. You allowed your Mother into an experience that most kids would want to hide from their parents, but you embraced the experience and allowed me to see it all.
I have steadfastly always stated that I wanted to always keep an open mind with my children, to not judge, but to just be, even if I don't agree with it all, and I have tried my hardest, but yes, I have made mistakes and I have judged and for that I am sorry. I am sure that there will be many more times I will say sorry to you, and again, I am okay with that, because when you say sorry, you learn, you learn a lesson in a difficult situation.
I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to life once again, I want to thank you for being my mentor in life and I look forward to many more years of mentoring from your amazing spirit!
I love you.

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