Saturday, April 12, 2014
Can't help those who won't help themselves
It's one of the most frustrating things to sit back and watch....someone who just is not "alive". Someone who is just existing but thinks they are living. What's worse is watching them in a miserable relationship that sucks their soul.
This would be a close co worker of mine. He's a young kid of only 26....and he's been in an abusive relationship for 9 months....he's abused mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically...but he won't admit to that...cause he's a man and for him that is just to embarrassing. I have listened for the last 4 months about what he goes through on a daily basis with a woman who is so controlling and abusive it would make your head spin with insanity....I often shake my head daily when I hear and see what he goes through...and keeps taking. I listen, counsel and often advice as best as I can with what I have to offer. There have been times that I have nothing to offer but to shake my head in disbelief.
Well yesterday...he made his first big choice....he left her.
He doesn't have a licence as he doesn't drive due to high anxiety...he has self esteem issues out the wazoo...and a host of other things I will not go into. He has no family here...and my gut just told me to help.
The hubster did not know what was happening...other then his wife calling him and telling him a strange co worker who he has never met is coming home with me...oh and by the way....I'm bringing his 2 1/2 year old son too.
So.....this weekend has been awkward to say the least....because I made my family vulnerable by bringing work home so to speak..and watching a broken man try to get his life back together...but still being torn by the manipulation of the one he left by constant text messages....to which he ignored yesterday, but today he is answering again.
I wish I could take his phone and flush it. I wish I could make him "see" what there is ahead of him....I wish he could promise me he will not go back...but non of this is a guarantee....cause there is no such thing in life at all.
I have to say though...I got to be an "Oma" for a weekend to the most adorable little boy EVER.....I have swallowed up his cuteness.....I gave him a bath last night and taught him out to spit water...today he took all my buttons and had them scattered all over the house....we played in the sink with water....we played airplane in the laundry basket...and he even through a temper tantrum when I took the broom away from him lol....to which I thought the hubster was gonna loose his shit lol.....he's not so much of a "small kid having a fit" kinda guy lol.
My own kids have told me that they will never have kids....so to have this little guy here this weekend has been a joy to me.
I have been told numerous times this weekend that I am spoiling him way to much...and to that I say "YES I AM".
As far as the co worker goes....I have no idea if this will have been a whole waste of my time or energy....but either way...I want him to know that he has a friend, someone who listens, someone who will never pussy foot around his issues and who will tell him what he NEEDS to hear and not what he WANTS to hear.
He may go back, and I will be frustrated...but it's not my battle to fight...he has a journey of life he needs to awaken to and start living....but it's just so hard to watch the battle.
So my dearest co worker...I know you will never read this, but I want your soul to know that I am routing for you...routing for your strength and understanding that there is more to you and life then you know, and it will get better and you CAN do it. I know you can, and I believe in you.